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Wishes and PainTaevra could feel the stone behind her cracking. The hand against her throat holding her off the ground. Though her nails drew blood along his forearm, he didn't flinch from the pain. It was as if he couldn't feel it. He pulled back his other arm, fingers curled into a fist as he looked at her. Those eyes were filled with rage and hate. Emotions she hadn't seen since someone had hurt her nearly a millennia ago. "Jet! Do it if you're going to!" She managed to growl at him, narrowing her eyes as he hesitated just a moment. Long enough for her to curl her knees up to her chest. Kicking off his chest collapsed the rock behind her leaving her in a pile of debris as he fell away from her.Wishes and Pain by ~KawaiiDay
Taevra got to her feet quickly, taking the opportunity to go on the offensive. She slashed out at him as he backed away, shielding his face with his forearms. A roundhouse left, jab right as he backed into the rock around them with a grunt. Taevra tucked her body as he backed against a rock wall, trapped as
Balikos' IntroductionThose eyes were the eyes of a killer. He could break her in half with barely a thought, yet she still stood and looked him in the eye. Balikos Yakvir Tamaran was the most intimidating dragon Taevra had met, but she still didn't back down. "What do you want childling?" The deep bass voice in her head made her almost cringe as it pounded against her skull, but still she didn't move. He was trying to make her run and flee this foolish expedition, but the many waiting outside this sacred place needed her. She needed his help whether she liked it or not.Balikos' Introduction by ~KawaiiDay
"Balikos, I need a favor." This made the black dragon before her grin, showing large needle sharp teeth. as he exhaled smoke through his nose.
"A favor?" He purred, locking that one green gold eye on her. It was bigger than she was across the shoulder, sizing her up for her worth now.
"I need to speak with him while his mind is his own." Balikos narrowed that eye at her, uncurling from before his hoard and moving to show her his full size.
A discussion between Taevra and KiatiTaevra paced the room anxiously. In the fourteen hours she'd been able to sit still, she hadn't once sat down or stopped moving. A haunted look crossed her face as Kiati smiled weakly at her from the nearest chair. "You know maybe the Gods are testing you? Every time one of you heads towards the other there's problems. For example Tiber and Criska. You didn't pursue him because of Criska and he didn't pursue you because of both Kyshin and Tiber. Maybe instead of running into the arms of someone else, you should wait for him here with us?" With a loud snap she bit through her pinky nail, spitting it out near Kiati and embedding the razor sharp nail in the wooden floor.A discussion between Taevra and Kiati by ~KawaiiDay
"That's the problem. Every single time I want to run and hide from these suitors, another one who seems perfect is thrown my way." Taevra deepened her voice and took on a mocking tone. "Oh I can save you and the kingdom. Bring the black dragonling to their former glory. Fight the enemies of my brave Queen and be her knigh
I remember the day we met. We were little kids. I was stupid and trying to catch a lizard I'd never have the reflexes to capture. You stood there mesmerized by a tomboy making a total fool of herself. After a moment I noticed you and smiled. I hadn't thought about the fact you were cute. Just the fact that I wanted to catch a lizard. I was determined and that overpowered a lot of other things.
So I decided to ask for your help. After a few minutes of talking, we parted ways. It was the first time we would talk face to face and I didn't know what we had started. I was bitten by fire ants soon after taking your advice and I went back home to my birth place. You went on for a few years just like I did. After that summer, things got weird and things started to happen until we met again.
A thousand miles or so apart and years later, we played the same game on the same server and met again. This time I was interested, though burned badly by past relationships. I remember my heart pounding as I fell hard for you. I didn't know what would happen. I didn't realize how much it would a.
Now I proudly wear the sign for Pisces on my back. I celebrate your birthday every year without fail. My thoughts and dreams are constantly about you. My heart refuses to move on. My loyalties don't falter.
I went to your house on the last of my savings and a prayer. I flew alone, lied to everyone I knew, and tried to convince your Mom to see you. I nearly broke down in tears and begged her. But instead my pride held me in check. I wasn't going to be a grovelling child. I am a full grown woman who wanted to see the other half she swore she left behind years ago.
But when I look in the mirror at my back, I realize that I can't let it go. I touch the pendants around my neck and murmur about you when I'm scared. I pray for guidance and for your happiness. I only wanted to see you smile just once and not see that pain in your eyes anymore. The pain that everyone swears doesn't exist. But I can sense it. The lies, the false promises. I can feel it in the way you speak and are. I just know when it isn't you.
It's been months that I've had my eyes open. That I've fought to wake myself and stop lying. Stop the dreams and the lies to myself that I can move on. That I can let go. With each day my resolve grows stronger. The strength within me makes me want to stand and fight. To win back the love that I lost or finally move on. To see for myself what you've become and finally hear it from your lips before me that it is either finished or just beginning.
Is it so wrong just to want a conclusion? To want to know the truth about it all? To stand in front of you and hear it from you? Not through someone else or from an e-mail. I just want to hear it. See the look on your face as you tell me what is real and what is not. It infuriates me that it has to be this hard. That you can't just face me and tell me how you feel.
I've spent the last eight years in terror that you hated me for what happened. For what split us apart. I think that is what kept me from accepting you back into my life. That fear of you being spiteful. Hurting me for being stupid. The fear of you taking my heart and tearing it from my chest just like all the hurtful words before.
I remember trying so many times to talk to you. To make you understand that I still loved you. That I still wanted to stand by your side no matter what and to hear you tell me to forget about you. To move on and get over it. Each time I'd fall you'd tell me the same thing. But the one time when you tell me to come back, what am I supposed to do? Run to you when all of my memories scream trap? When all of your actions don't even make sense over the years?
I think my problem is that I don't listen to my heart. I wanted to pack my things, tell my Ex go to hell and disappear with you. Even if the consequences destroyed us. But I couldn't. Fear held me right there. Sense of duty and responsibility held me there. I feared he'd kill himself. That it would be my fault. That I would blame myself an let it hinder us.
But now I sit here crying myself to sleep at night thinking of you. Thinking of how close I was to seeing you and how much I wanted to scream out your name and make you come out and face me. It tears me apart inside to know I was thirty feet from you and all that separated us was two doors and your Mom.
I blame myself for not being stronger. For not seeing you sooner. For not doing a lot of things I should have had the strength to do. Yet I can't help it. I can't make myself love or hate on command. I just think I'm scared that if I let go of you now, I won't be able to love you again.
But I keep coming back to you even when I've damned you in my mind. Even when I've given up all hope for us, you somehow still exist in my heart. Like the flame that won't ever go out. And I realize this is ridiculous and stupid for some people, but it's real for me. I don't understand why this keeps happening.
I pretend to be that perfect girlfriend in the beginning. I fake who I am without even trying. I love all their quirks and charms, look over their flaws and try to be the girl of their dreams. But when I realize they aren't you, I drop the act and watch them walk out of my life. I watch the doors slam in my face and I find myself alone with my memories again. The only things that keep me comforted and alive in this cold cruel world.
After these last few months without any physical comfort, I've come to find myself quite alone. At first it drove me insane. I wanted to reach out to every scumbag for some kind of touch. Even the mere fact that they liked me and wanted me comforted me. But I grew tired of the games. It's been two months now without anyone to "love" me. And I feel my heart breaking. But I can't go back to that life of empty love and promises.
It was a pathetic and sad existence that I was trying to carve for myself. The happiness was short lived like a drug. It wasn't the real thing. Happiness is something you should naturally feel. Not have to work at to keep. We all have our ups and downs, but when my true emotions make the guys run, why should I bother? It's a game of masks and lies. Love isn't built on lies and false promises. I should have learned that by now from the best teachers out there.
I just wish that I could hear your voice tell me everything is going to be okay again. That life is going to get better and we're going to work towards a better tomorrow. For both of us. I'm just scared of the fall out. I can't lose you again. I think it would kill me.
But how do I tell every guy out there that I'm taken by a ghost from my past? One that isn't even in my present except in my heart? That I cry myself to sleep every night because I want you to smile for real. That I can tell you have the same hole in your chest just from a picture. That your heart is as broken as mine and your life as messed up. It's like we're truly soulmates or something.
If after eight years I can't let you go, can't we try again? I feel like I should enter a nunnery and wait in meditation for the day you walk through those doors.
As my twin sister tells me often, I'm boy crazy. But that's only a cover. I know that now. I'm just trying to hide from the pain this hole in my chest causes. The emptiness and the tears I keep shedding for you.
I'll wait forever if that's how long it takes. For all eternity. I promise. Because life isn't about sex or living it up. It's about happiness. And yes, I can be happy within myself. But I don't want to do it without you. I don't want to see anyone else beside me but you. Because it's a lie. That happiness and love is a lie.
The real happiness and love lies in your arms where I belong.
The AngelKitten and the Ferret.
The wind and fire.