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FadeYou watch me as I fade away...
Walking into the dark night...
It isn't just like every day...
Where I cower and block out light...
Give me a choice...
Set me free...
This is my voice...
Can't you see?
I don't want to play...
Fear and pain in my eyes...
What am I to say...
When blood paints the skies?
People tear through each other...
Like it doesn't matter...
Finding more than one lover...
I don't want any of the latter...
You want to cry and lose control...
Hold out your hands to me...
I'll be the one to take your soul...
Before hell can take thee...
To die in this life...
Is yet another phase...
Unable to handle the strife...
From so many days...
I carry the scars of a victim...
Bloody and full of fear...
When the lights go dim...
I'll run away from those dear...
No one shall witness your pain...
They won't ever see mine...
I hate that you had so much to gain...
But they took it all with a line...
The rights which we all love...
Given to us by our kin...
Under those from above...
The Truth in the LiesThe first time I asked for help,
My hand outstretched to the sky,
Knocked off the cliff with a yelp,
All I could do was cry.
Again it is coming to me,
I survived the fall,
The same decision to be,
I must give this my all.
Deceived by the friend,
Who pushed me over the edge,
Trying to make an end,
Watching me topple over the ledge.
The most important thing,
My heart did die,
He was my everything,
Crushed by a lie.
Jealousy clouded true vision,
Life and death hung in the air,
But that was not his mission,
He did not care.
All he wanted was the friend I stole,
Regardless if we both would die,
I would pay the toll,
For believing that lie.
Deep within my heart I made a choice,
My screams promising till the end,
That with my one and only voice,
I'd never ask a friend.
But there was truth in that lie,
With every word came something new,
A doubt in my heart that made me cry,
Questioning everything I did do.
Was love strong enough to conquer hate?
Though the odds swore I would die,
Did I realiz
HeadachesFor the heartbreak,
Every breath I take,
The movements I make,
I'm in pain for your sake.
Fighting among us,
Promise me you won't cuss,
Screaming in the darkest lust,
Do we stand here because we must?
Dreams surrounding the end,
I can't count you my friend,
Past the water and around the bend,
Though I fight this is where I must mend.
Those deep blue,
I haven't a clue,
Why I fell in love with you,
Beaten and broken I crawled too.
Back to where I'm from,
You didn't beg me to come,
Sent me far away and then some,
Maybe in pieces inside an oil drum.
But I did escape,
Though whispering rape,
Drunken kisses on my nape,
Half asleep so no rope or tape.
My belly full,
Your angered pull,
Pain as we did cull,
Their eyes blank and dull.
No funeral for accidents,
Your greatest achievements,
Freeing yourself from commitments,
Cowering from your deceitful agreements.
How could you sit there and smile?
As I laid in the hospital quite awhile,
My body first down the stairs in a pile,
You did not care th
Falling ReflectionI reached out for you as I fell,
The world sucking me under,
Fires glowing from hell,
Now torn asunder.
Laying broken across the skyline,
Wind playing through my hair,
I tried saying I was fine,
Knowing you didn't care.
Clenching my fists I finally stood,
Pain burning through broken wings,
Sewed my heart up best I could,
But that doesn't fix things.
So I'll put my left foot first,
Nothing to soothe my pain,
My back about to burst,
All for no gain.
Yet as I stare into the wild blue,
Each step healing grace,
Having thoughts only of you,
Puts a smile on my face.
Roses For YouI had given up seeing you again,
My heart bleeds on the floor,
But that was back then,
Now I'm asking for more.
The pain it tears me apart,
As I stare at your grave,
No longer a beating heart,
All your life you gave.
I wanted to throw mine away,
Walk the path I hate,
Scream to the wind I say,
But this was your fate.
Clenched fists as I kneel,
Roses in my bloody hand,
This was just part of the deal,
Blood returns to the land.
Your grave makes me tremble with fear,
The pain is too much to know,
Watching me shed a tear.
It will finally show.
How much you really meant to me,
All these past times we spent,
Now with nothing to cloud can you see,
What this whole life meant?
I gave my body to you,
My heart went too,
But you gave in too fast,
And you didn't last.
Roses for your grave each year,
As blood spills from my hand,
I will shed a tear,
To this forsaken land.
DrowningAll I can see above me is bubbles,
The sun to the west dying alone,
But it can't see my troubles,
As I plan to atone.
Moon above watch me drown,
While a last struggle fades,
Let the sun crown,
In bloody shades.
Being half the final fight,
Stars so high above,
Light fades to night,
So does my love.
Can't you hear my scream?
Clenched fists below,
Be this a dream,
Or a show.
Those who could hear me now turn their ears,
Covered by hands bloodied and betrayed,
Upon faces covered in tears,
Terror and dismayed.
Why would this be my final end?
Extend my hands up again,
Risking it all for a friend,
Thrown away by them.
Hold me close now as I begin to die,
With friends turned away,
Out with their lie,
Never to stay.
Only one stands on the still water,
Watching with silver green eyes,
Like a Guardian for a daughter,
Rain pours from the skies.
Save me I silently will plead,
Death not too far behind,
This one push I need,
Someone to be kind.
Keep me close if I may begin to fall,
Hands pushing me to
Realization of LoveDays upon days it has been,
I swore I did commit sin,
But that love he had for me,
It vanished can't you see?
So with the breaking sound of glass,
My world became a bloody mass,
Screams rent the air around,
My body convulsing on the ground.
"Death bring unto me,
A gentle forever be,
Sleeping under that star,
The one that's always so far."
But I would not give,
Refusing not to live,
Give it a shot,
It's better than not.
Though my body is killing me,
Blood pooling around he,
I beg with all that I am,
That without him I would be damned.
Tears cloud the vision true,
How have I lost you?
Screaming from the heavens so high,
But I will not lay down and die.
This time I have a chance,
To finish the very last dance,
Not run away in fear and pain,
Waiting just to be slain.
In my hands I hold my sword,
Ready to cut this forbidden cord,
Separating my soul mate,
Before it is too late.
The one I love is not bound,
He is outside the realm of found,
I was destined and cast away,
Now this is what I hav
Sacrifice My HeartYou said you loved me the night before,
But I couldn't take that anymore,
When the chance came the next day,
I sat there and here's what I say:
"She loves you and you her,
Now don't let this hate occur,
I'll push you together now,
So I can uphold my vow."
She agreed to his asking her out,
Though I nearly wanted to shout,
Knowing that the sacrifice was right,
As I sit alone tonight.
Bleed out I knew I would,
Though all is as be it should,
Now you can't hear,
As my heart does tear.
It was something stupid I know,
My heart does show,
How much I do need to cling,
To the one that makes me sing.
Sacrifice for your happiness I do,
I wasn't meant to love you,
But my vows hold me to him,
The one I loved on a whim.
So be happy my friend,
This is the end,
Holding back with tears on my face,
This is the last time we'll see this place.
EmpathyThey said I was crazy,
Holding the knife in my hand,
But I just think they're lazy,
Because I wasn't what they planned.
I closed my eyes one day,
As the friend before jumped,
Pain and fear did I say,
Their body now slumped.
But no one could understand,
Why I wouldn't move,
I wasn't what they planned,
I didn't fit in the perfect groove.
I'd sleep for days as if comatose,
Riding out the suicidal pain,
As friend after friend took the dose,
When they had nothing to gain.
Death is one I cannot stand,
Knowing when each would die,
I wasn't what they planned,
Knowing that I could lie.
Keep a straight face while they raged,
Drama and love all around,
Yet I felt as if I aged,
While they all were frozen ground.
Never changing land,
While I blew away,
I wasn't what they planned,
That's what they say.
If I dropped my guard,
Their rage became mine,
My judgment would be scarred,
And that's where I draw the line.
Twice I've lost to flames they fanned,
The memory lost on me,
I wasn't what they planned,
I've ForgottenI've forgotten,
How it feels
To be loved.
A thing called joy.
All I remember
Is your backside
Is breaking up
Always like this?
Will I never get back my soul?
Everything but you.
You are still
In my memory.
You are there
In my memory.
Of everything I had lost.
PoetryAll the words I cannot say,
Even though I'm not mute,
All the tears and fears I cry and hide,
everything I keep inside all comes out with one thing in mind,
PoetryYou, sitting there
Me, writing here
You take a step into my domain
The easiest door is fragrant with cocaine
The hardest way is pain and suffering
Alive with sighing and weeping
As you string word
After hard-thought word
I wonder what your fuel could be
Could it be the sun or the constant sea?
Could it be the church or the state?
Could it be the start of endless debate?
Though I wish your words were about me
PoetryPeople say poetry must follow rules,
It must ryhme,
it musthave certain sylables,
it must keep time.
Poetry should have hidden meaning,
That can only be found,
Between the lines.
Why can't people see,
that poetry can just be.
Not because of some rule,
is poetry beautiful.
That would be just cruel,
But because poetry is beauty put into words.
Poetry is Not...
Poetry is not a competition
to see whose voice can out-bellow
It is not the mock elevation of baristas,
waitresses, and coffee girls.
It is not referring to grown ass women as girls.
Poetry is not performance.
It is not the trapeze.
Not the spotlight, limelight,
or a long, harrowing limo ride.
It is not an intricate courting dance.
Not the irridescence of peacock tails
Poetry is not a cockfight.
It's not a dating service for the pretentious
Poetry will not stop war.
Will not feed the hungry.
Will not build homes from shoddy rhyme schemes.
Poetry will not score you any points
for the afterlife, nor with women.
If you are an asshole, no stack of verse
will hide that fact. Poetry in its artifice
will not deliver to you a happily ever after.
It will not glue your marriage.
It will not shield you from his drunken
misogynist fist. Even if he writes poetry.
Poetry is not an elixir or a tool.
It is decorative, like sheer linen curtains,
and that is all.
PoetryThere is something about poetry
that loosens the soul
it evokes strong feelings
it never gets old
it is pure emotion
feelings that do not waver
bottled up inside
waiting for the right paper
bright and cheerful
gloomy and sad
loving and tender
hateful and mad
it doesnt matter
whatever the mood
a poem can be found
that will fit the groove
that you cannot see
when reading greatness
that thing called poetry
as i watch
and watch the hand so unwilling
i cant figure it out
but envy burns a hole in my heart
eats away at my mind
controls my thoughts
and i look on
and see you held so tight
and clench my fists
inside of me the monster that grows
but so tiny
to never whield its sword
i beat it time and time again
all to be reborn
a different shape
a different way
to burn inside of me
as i watch you held so tight
by the glory infront of me
the sight my eyes evade and watch
i must be overwhelmed
i cant stand to stand here
and breath this air you infect
and watch as my hopes
my demons inside
all fade away
in your arms so tight
this demon i make the choice
Final GoodbyesAs I stand on the edge staring down...
My hands bleed from the fence behind...
Lips contorted in a frown...
Hands holding what they will find...
Suns will set before I leave this place...
The waves below will thunder and roar...
Heart now dead will start to race...
This bloody rose will soar...
I've said my good byes to that past...
Mourned and tore myself apart...
Though I swore it would always last...
Deep down in my heart...
A piece of me will always love...
The one I leave this day...
Like the tainted bloody wings of a dove...
Recovered enough to fly away...
Her mate is dead but she must live on...
Forced by others in her chest...
Their hopes rest upon...
What choice she hopes is the best...
That cliff won't be my grave today...
Though a piece of my heart is there...
I'll cry in silent times to say...
Life just isn't fair...
But with tainted wings I must fly...
Another life is pushing me...
Giving up is now a lie...
As shining eyes will see...
I can't wallow forever in this dreadfu
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More